Tuesday, October 13, 2009

This is a Call

Let's not call this a devotional. This truly is a writing of thoughts and meditations that have been building in my head. The focus is a developing one, but I believe that a clear vision is on its way. If you want to label this post, label it a call to arms.
Look around you. Our world is on the verge of power shift and colossal change. Developing nations run by tyrannical egoists are waving their nuclear manhood for everyone to see and fear. Meanwhile, the last of the superpowers is seeing a "fundamental transformation" that the citizens aren't in favor of. Even more personal, the family as it was created is dissolving and has melted into a liquid form, taking the shape of any who would have it, rather than shaping that person.
Some are looking for some great person to stop this change. These people look to presidents, prophets, authors, gurus, and talking heads to lead them to solid ground. Still others hope a regime or government will supply all they need. Another group turns to religion and organization to right the wrongs in their lives, personal or collective. None of these things will change the world effectively. The will only lead us to what they want, touting their own agendas and hoping we won't notice.
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, I pose a call to you. You probably attend a church. You might even serve in a major role there. Don't give that up. Instead, I ask you to not let that church be your guiding light. Trust and love and support your pastors and leaders, but remember that they are only men. Encourage your church to do the same, and remember that we are all a "priesthood of believers." Though our gifts vary, we are part of the same function, the same body, the body of Christ. This is literal. Jesus has chosen us, that is you and me, to be his method of expression in this world. Sure we screw up, but that is where His power is made perfect and his grace and mercy heal. My call is for us to truly let Jesus be the head of the church. That means he is the head of your life. He is the head of your household, your family, your workplace.
I don't know what that looks like; I don't believe we have seen such a thing in our lifetime. What I know, though, from Scriptural accounts and church history is that it is the only way that TRUE fundamental transformation will occur. Sadly, we may not see positive effects in our government, in our global community even, but we will see our small communities and our churches changed.
There is a fire that is burning in me. It is a zealous passion to see Christ as our King, yet I cannot even get myself there. I think that it is up to the CHURCH, not churches, to make Christ known by the way we live, not by our programs or our rallies or our books. We must love and love without fear. I will steal a quote from Glenn Beck here: question with boldness, hold to the truth and speak without fear. Jesus did this. The status quo, those who would manipulate and use others, liars and cheaters: these people were questioned by Jesus. When they turned back against him, he held to the Truth, and he was never afraid to tell the Truth.
This is why they were so amazed, saying he spoke with authority. Whatever fear he could have had was driven out by the perfect love he received from his Father and the perfect love he gave to his creation. WE HAVE THAT LOVE!!! He has given it to us! We have it twofold, because our Father has given it to us as well!! Whom shall we fear!!! Not even death can keep us from His loving embrace. His power shall be seen, his glory revealed!!! Will the rocks be the ones who get to shout his name because we cannot live and breathe his mission?!?
Rise up and let your life be seen. Focus on the Truth which is Jesus. He told us so. Love without fear and let go of earthly things. This will change the world. I challenge and I call you to this. Join me. Let us hold on another accountable and walk arm in arm, swords raised and brandishing the love of Christ.
I will write more on this as it formulates. Please share your ideas on how we can do this together without creating another man made organization, but letting Christ guide our thoughts and actions.

Friday, October 09, 2009

No Nobel, but I don't care.

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

I must admit now that my heart is heavy. When something needs to be said, I begin to feel this way. I am praying about what it is that needs to be said. There is no way to explain it, but I like the feeling and miss it when it is gone. As I wait for the word to come, I think about something a friend said to me a while back.
We were talking about the passing on of a word we had received from God, a message He had for His people. Those words are not easy ones to carry, as they often bring truth about sin and a need for change. The Spirit behind these words is real and powerful and empowering, but the messenger is often weak and finds the burden more than enough. When the message is delivered, the tone can sometimes be impatient, tired, judgemental, and even hateful. None of these characterize the gospel.
The gospel message is characterized by love. It isn't a safe love. When you look at Jesus life as he introduced the Way to the Jews, he began by filling needs. He healed, fed, comforted, and taught. As time went on, the receiving of gifts merged with the receiving of edification. Those who crossed paths with Jesus found their lives unraveled before their eyes. It had seemed so nice for a while, but Jesus didn't only come to meet physical needs. The higher goal was Spiritual salvation. This required the sluffing off of the physical body, its death. Today, this is still the way of working out salvation. Jesus exhibited for them and for us, saving us in the very process of teaching us. Still, we don't seem to get it. We struggle and aim for the easy life of church and work and family, while Jesus wants us to follow him with our families, with our churches, into the dangerous love adventure that is His life.
The thing that Jesus did, though, after the hard teaching, was show mercy and grace and hope. That is what his death signified. It is what our deaths to selves can signify for a world seeking truth. It is what I want to do as I deliver these tidbits of truth and opinion, thought and feeling. I know that God has given me messages in the past. I know that I have delivered them in ways that are lacking. Mercifully, He still uses them. What I want to do is leave you with the verse above. Know that when we are called to change for Christ, it is all about him - from him, through him and to him. Know that He answers prayers, and my prayer is this one: The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The Hardest Thing

After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the rulers of the synagogue sent a message to them, saying, "Brothers, if you have any word of encouragement for the people, say it." So Paul stood up, and motioning with his hand said:
"Men of Israel and you who fear God, listen. -- Acts 13:15-16




It has been said that children can be the meanest of all creations. The lack of couth and the absence of knowledge of social norms allows for many words to exit their mouths which, as adults, we would keep locked up to save others' feelings. In the classroom of a middle school, I witness this phenomenon every day. There is no end to the hurling of insults and put downs and mud slinging. When called on it, the excuse given is, "I am only joking."

The reasons for such behavior could come from many places. Possibly, the home is broken, and one parent is struggling to support the fragile psyches of multiple needy children. Another child might suffer the verbal and/or physical abuse of one or more of his elders. Still other kids may be dealing with parents who completely refuse to give attention to them at all. Some may only be responding to the pressure they feel to fit in. The list goes on and on. Sadly, it becomes increasingly harder to provide encouragement because we are surrounded by the negative words.

Turn on the television and you see the same thing. A television show whose title advertises that it has a male figure who is family focused actually portrays every spiritual and cultural poison in a comedic light, giving us all the freedom to laugh at things that are truly inappropriate to even be public knowledge, much less be made fun of. The vocabulary of most screen writers must be horrible, for they resort to the selling of sex and vulgar language to maintain viewers. Even more sad is the fact that we continually consume and conform without complaint.

I could go on complaining. It would be easy, and I even have that first amendment right to do so. Complaining accomplishes nothing though. It merely makes my voice another in a sea of voices that all tout their own fears and desires, demanding to be heard and acknowledged. No one hears this. The voice that we are all straining to hear, isn't there.

What people are demanding is someone to take their side, someone to encourage them and show them hope. As Christians, we have hope, and we have a command to encourage others. The Bible has much to say on the topic of our tongues. They are the heaviest weight to carry, and nary a man can tame the tongue. Our words can give life or drive people down. It is time we changed our voices.

I suggest we follow the type that Paul set up for us in the passage above. When the scripture had been read and the call was given for one of the apostles to give a word of encouragement, Paul stood and said, "Men of God, listen..." He then set forth the history of the Jewish people. He pointed out their beginning, their rough and tumble past with their God, and finishes with a hope and a warning. The thing he showed them was that God "

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Government of Some Kind

"...For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved." 2 Peter 2:19b

In the classic novel Great Expectations, the main character Pip chases a dream of riches and romance that his own imagination created from fragments of truth mixed with fantastic ideas, only to find that nothing was as he thought. His beloved did not return the emotion; rather, she was a pawn in someone else's game of revenge. Pip's benefactor was not the seemingly benevolent old woman he first imagined, but an escaped convict who stole bread from him when he was but a wee lad. His expectations became his master, and he ended up in great disappointment instead.
As humans, and more specifically Americans, we have our own set of expectations. I write only from the perspective that I know and witness on a daily basis. I am not sure when it started, and I do not wish to argue that point, but any semblance of reality seems to have left us. Our own leader seems to truly believe that his charisma will save our nation. Meanwhile, many of us sit with our mouths open to him, crying our for he and his government to pour our nourishment into our mouths for us like baby birds. This progressive politic is only another symptom of a greater need, though. Personality will not save us. The government cannot protect us and feed us.
Another illustration comes from my own experience with young people in churches and in schools. Though there are exceptions, the majority of our students and children have more rights than the teachers and parents who are to raise them, and as a result, show absolutely no respect. In addition, though every educational course I have taken gives teachers the tools and initiative to help students create their own learning, the students are sitting, much like the baby birds, expecting grades and passing without working to earn the grades. Sadly, they are given what they expect.
When schools give merit where merit is not earned, they weaken the students and cheat them from their education of both academics and character. The same thing happens when the government distributes wealth and goods. The people grow weary and tired and weak. They are not free from the government. The students become slaves to their ego while the schools are enslaved to the "accountability" of the state and the perceived needs of the students.
I say all of this to make the following point: rights do not equal liberty. I once heard it put like this: "Liberty is freedom exercised with responsibility." It is the responsibility that we have lost. Responsibility is hard. Responsibility is necessary, though, because it requires action. In order to enjoy our rights, we only have to do what we want. In order to keep our freedom, though we must act. This idea is not new. As a matter of fact, it is as old as the earth itself. Our own Creator made it thus when He established His creation.
In James chapter 1, the Lord tells us through His disciple that we are to be doers of the Word, not only hearers. Though this is written after the death and resurrection of Christ, the idea is present in Genesis. When God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, he prefaced it with, "You may eat of any tree in the garden." Freedom was given, but with a little responsibility. That responsibility meant they must actively avoid that particular type of tree. As we all know, they failed.
Today, we are the same. We constantly find ourselves claiming rights and freedom, but exercising none of the effort it takes to keep and enjoy the freedom. Our expectation is for everyone to do for us. We are like the Israelites who preferred Moses to speak to God for them, or to have an earthly king rather than the King of Kings. We settle for second best because we don't have to work for it.
When we do not exercise responsibility for our freedoms, we invite, however unintentionally, someone else to do that part for us. Consider the parable of the man who had the demon exorcised from him but did nothing to fill the vacancy. The old demon returned with all of his friends and did even more damage than before. One application of this is that we want some form of government, and as long as we don't have to do the work, we'll allow anyone or anything else to guide us.
Because of this, laws of all kinds are created. For the Israelites, God handed down a law intended to give liberty, but those priests in power abused the law enslaving their own people. It isn't always rules, though, that creates the enslavement. Like Peter said, it is our desires who make the rules. The result is a person who hears the word, but does not do it. The word encourages, but does not empower.
Scripture says that the Spirit of God is a Spirit not of timidity but of Power. It also teaches that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. James says that we should be doers and not only hearers. He tells us that the "man who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets, but a doer who acts, he will be blessed." In other words, God expects us to get off of our duffs and go.
Christians cannot allow the government to tell us what to do. Neither can we let our celebrities guide us. We cannot put our stock in books or in sermons, though these things are good. God Himself indwells and empowers each of us individually and corporately as the body of Christ to be self-governed, working responsibly to maintain the freedom that was freely given us of His Son. Does this mean we earn our salvation? Absolutely not! It was a graciously given gift. Yet, we are to work out our salvation. This is the step-by-step, daily routine of spiritual trench warfare that we do not endure, but face head on and refuse to fall slave to. It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Let us not sell that freedom for a cushy pew life.
In the end of Great Expectations, Pip discovers that he had chased down a future that did not exist. His desire for wealth and love led him down a roughshod path where he betrayed family and friend. Pip stands with his love at the end of the book and his future from this point is unknown to him and to us. More important, though, is the fact that his future is in his own hands. What are your expectations from life? Are you enslaved to desires, to laws, to ego? If so, cut the chain and accept the freedom and liberty and the power to live it out that is offered by Jesus Christ.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Ultimate Sacrifice is Obedience?

1The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD;
He turns it wherever He wishes.
2Every man's way is right in his own eyes,
But the LORD weighs the hearts.
3To do righteousness and justice
Is desired by the LORD more than sacrifice. Proverbs 21:1-3

Read Micah 6:8 along with this verse. Righteousness and justice are what the Lord requires of us; they are His commands to us. Another reading of Proverbs 21:3 would say, then, that obedience is desired by the Lord more than sacrifice. I feel compelled to begin defining justice, mercy, and righteousness; but I want to look at what obedience is in comparison to sacrifice. If you truly consider the idea, obedience requires sacrifice. It begins by sacrificing our own will to that of God. It may even require us to sacrifice other things, from our pride to our very life. So why is a distinction important? The answer is that we often sacrifice without any thought that we are obeying. Conversely, when we follow Christ and obey Him continually, we begin to think that the sacrifice is actually when we disobey: we sacrifice that precious relationship.
First of all, our world is full of people that make sacrifices. People quit smoking, they leave home and job, they save up for certain things, adopt children from impoverished nations, etc. The list of sacrifices that are made daily could go on and on. Many of them aren't even connected to our relationship with the Almighty. The majority of the sacrifices that we make, though, are made in order to appease the god of our selfishness in some way. We quit smoking for our health, we save to get the house or car or whatever, and we leave home and job for something we want. This isn't a sin or anything, but the more we sacrifice to this god of self, the stronger it becomes. We risk becoming a slave to our own desires. God knows this, and as such, He wants us to listen to His words and obey them, turning away from the danger and into His refuge.
This leads to the second point: continual obedience draws us nearer to God, closer to Christlikeness. The closer we get to Him, the more we want Him. Our Lord becomes more valuable than anything else and the loss of even our life becomes nothing in comparison to just being in His presence. His greatest command was to love Him. The second was to love others as we love ourselves. Jesus told us that doing this would cause us to fulfill the rest of the law as well. As such, we have given God what He desires: obedience. It is when we reach this point that we discover the only true sacrifice is separation from Christ, and God made that sacrifice so that we don't have to. He forsook His son on the cross. Paul implied this idea that loss of anything is nothing compared to knowing Christ. Without the truth that Christ is the most valuable thing ever, we would have no hope, no salvation, and no life.
In summation, God desires obedience. Obedience takes us to a place where we no longer have to sacrifice, because the only loss is the loss of our divine relationship.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Loving Family

Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity! Psalm 133:1


The only thing that never changes is the fact that change is inevitable. As I was talking with my wife earlier this year, we discussed the feeling that our family is always in a state of transition and change. For whatever reason, we have never felt like we were at rest or settled in any place. Living like this is wearying and discouraging at times. A friend made a statement, though, that has helped me come to terms somewhat with that feeling of unrest. His statement, roughly quoted, was that we aren't at home here. I infer from this that we may never have a truly grounded feeling here on earth as long as we are followers of Christ. He told His followers, "The Son of Man has no place to rest His head."
Let me qualify that statement. God desires to be our Sabbath and our rest. We can find rest in Him, even when we aren't feeling at home. Despite that, our human tendency is to seek stability and security. Even while we trust Christ our flesh wages war against the Spirit, and we may find ourselves feeling out of place. This is why the church is such an important entity. Christ is alive within us. He also calls us His body. In other words, we are His instrument of expression on the earth. Members of a healthy church will find that it is among those people that they feel at home, at rest, and secure. This is because Christ's love is expressed through us, His body. This feeling of being home happens any time followers of Christ get together. When Jesus said, "They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another," this is a big part of what He meant.
For those of you who don't know, my family is currently in another transition: we are moving back to the panhandle of Texas. The decision to do this would have been very hard but for one thing: Christ. As we have prayed and struggled and searched about whether or not to return to the geographical area we call home, the answer came through the body of Christ on earth, the church. Slowly, people whom we have not seen or spoken to for some time seemed to be appearing in conversations, on Facebook, and personally. It is as if God was telling us that our family, not just blood relatives, was there. Don't think we didn't have some brothers and sisters here who are just as close to us here, but Christ expressed to us through His body in Amarillo the answer to our prayers.
This is why I chose the verse at the top of the post from Psalms. It is good when brothers dwell in unity. Many brothers are divided and struggling against one another over small things. Many members of the Body are weakened because of the lack of focus on the health of the Body and the distraction of politic and tradition. As one popular song puts it, "We need each other!" I thank God for those brothers and sisters who heard God's whisper and expressed it to us, even when they were unaware of our prayers. I ask God to use me to express to others His will and love. I thank the Lord that we have Him, each other, and His Son. Lastly, I thank Jesus for the prayer that He prayed and His Father is faithful to answer: that we are one with Him (with His body on earth as well) as He is one with His Father.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Stockholm Syndrome Trailer

Stockholm Syndrome Trailer from Derek Webb on Vimeo.

From Eternity to Here


There are many books that lay claim to God's purposes. They offer all kinds of advice and suggestions on how His purpose affects our purpose. Frank Viola's book, From Eternity to Here, is one of those books. This book is a bit different, though, in its goal. In the end, God's eternal purposes challenge us to completely rethink and then respond to how we live.
Why did God create mankind? Why is there so much suffering in the world? What reason is there for the duck-billed platypus? While this book doesn't answer all three of those questions, it does approach the first one and answers it with strong ideas backed by Scripture. The ideas aren't necessarily new, but they are approached from a new vantage point. According to Viola, God's purposes for creation include a bride for his son, a house and home for him to live in, a body to express his life through on the earth, and a family that shares the kind of relationship he has with his son. Viola does not just explain these things with language that flies over the layman's head and pretend he has an answer God has revealed to no one else. Every point is supported with scripture and applied to both the individual and the church.
That being said, the goal of this book isn't merely to encourage the individual believer on his own personal walk. While it does encourag and challenge personally, the goal is to help us see that the Christian walk is not an individual project, but a corporate experience. If you don't know, Viola is an advocate of the church in an organic expression. He has written a couple of other books on the subject: Pagan Christianity?, and Reimagining Church. Viola's purpose is to aid the church (read family, earthly expression of the body of Christ not a building or social club)in rediscovering its true identity and purpose. For this reason, From Eternity to Here will challenge our preconceived notions of what church is. For Viola, the foundation of the church is Christ and Christ alone, the goal of the church is Christ and Christ alone, the source for the church is Christ and Christ alone; and we are each living stones filled with and built upon that foundation. If we try to go it alone, we will miss Christ. In an easy-to-understand way, Viola relates our journey as a church to the Old Testament journey of the Israelites. He shows how the New Covenant was revealed and foreshadowed in the lives of David, Jacob, and the prophets.
Personally, I enjoyed this book because all the ideas presented are challenging and scripture based. I will be the first to admit that I didn't cross reference each reference for context and authenticity. I do believe that Viola knows what he is talking about, as nothing presented contradicts the foundational truths of Christian belief. As someone who wants to experience God in as much fullness as I can in this fallen world, I find the application of the truths presented practical. There is much more in the book I leave for you to discover and think about, but this is a book I would recommend for anyone longing for more in their experience with Christ, the church, and their Father.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Chaotic Faith Rambling.

At time in life, it seems as though we may be caught in the midst of chaos. In literature the word is derived from the Greek who gave this name to the original nothingness from which Gaia and the other protogenitors emerged. Another way of putting it is that it is the unpredictable gaping whole from which existence came. Even in the Bible chaos seems to be the formless and void earth that existed before God spoke Creation into being.
Chaos has another meaning, though, in mathematics. In my own limited understanding, I will attempt an explanation. Chaos is a series of events that is unpredictable but is dependent on the initial circumstances. In this kind of chaos, we can know the end and see the beginning, but what goes on in between will remain a mystery to observers.
For the everyday bystander, the world would seem to appear in chaos. Some of us know the beginning and the end while we worry and stand amazed at the randomness of life. Other folks claim that we cannot know either the beginning or the end and should embrace the chaos, making sense of the here and now. Still others claim they can even know what the future holds and they sell their answers on late night television. Regardless of the position you hold, the fact is that we do not know everything that will happen in the kind of safe detail we would like to. The result is fear which we respond to in any number of ways. One of these ways is to turn to God.
As I read from the beginning of Jeremiah last night, I stopped in verses 4 & 5. God's words to Jeremiah were that He had known him before he was formed in the womb. Before he was born, God had set him apart and given him the role of a prophet. I paused to reflect here because I realized that God had indeed done this for me as well. I, too, was known by God before I was formed. Before I was around to breathe, God has set me apart for my calling.
Currently, I am in a jobless state of flux. The way this situation came about was not normal or pretty. Because of this, I have drifted from God and wondered about His plans and His cryptic message to me several months ago: "Trust Me." Then I read these words. The number of brush strokes I take to clean my teeth He knows. The number of hairs on my head He knows. Where I will be working come August, He knows.
Though this isn't easy to accept, it is a faith conditioning exercise. For each of us there is a calling that we have been set apart for. Like Jeremiah, we may not think ourselves worthy, or maybe we want to go somewhere else like Jonah. God, though has set us apart for the moment we are in and He knew before we did that we would doubt and worry. He was prepared for it. He knows the begining and He knows the end. He has shared these things with us. It is the seeming chaos in the middle we have trouble with. But if we read this passage and others like it correctly, there is really no chaos. He set us in this time, this moment, with a job to do. We just have to trust Him. He gave Jeremiah the words to say, and He will equip us as well. Like Matthew Henry wrote in his commentary, "Original endowment, not education, makes a prophet." Whatever your gift and calling, the same is true of it.
There is not real chaos, just some details we don't know. The truth is that God set all of this into motion, He placed you strategically where you are in space and time according to His strategy. AS hard as it can be at times, just trust Him.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Messiah

Standing on the precipice
Looking over kingdoms spread out
Across my back and in my name

Fed by words and breathing in
the fear of all the innocents
Letting out an air of confidence

Do you believe that life has meaning
Are you concerned with all the reasons I didn't jump

There's no threat of death where death is not allowed
There's no faith alone without the threat of death
So I say look me in the eye, look me in the eye
Look me in the eye and breathe

Outside underneath and over
Every thought of any possibility
written on the palm of just one hand
When that fist is closed the lines
Are creased and wrath is overflowed
Blood leaves every vessel in your head

Do you believe that life has meaning
Are you concerned with all the reasons I didn't jump

There's no threat of death where death is not allowed
There's no faith alone without the threat of death
So I say look me in the eye, look me in the eye
Look me in the eye and breathe

(this is actually a song I wrote a couple of years ago. a great student of mine wrote the music for it. All about faith.)

When Love Comes to Town

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Courage examined, kind of

I find it funny how faith works. You absolutely must face your fears with faith. If you have no fear, you aren't exercising faith. It is just another task. If you face your fear with arrogance, you are a fool. The question arises, is faith equal to courage? It takes courage to face your fears. In that respect, it takes courage to have faith. It then matters who you have faith in, where your courage comes from. Currently, I am in a place where I am completely and utterly out of control of my own situation. I am trusting God to provide, not just for me, but for my family as well. Is my faith enough? Is God's response in direct relation to the strength of my faith? It is He who gives faith, so that either isn't fair or isn't true. We exercise our faith much like a muscle. No pain, no gain. No struggle, no growth. Romans chapter 5 explains this better than I can. So is courage faith? No. It takes courage to face fear no matter where your faith lies. your faith may be in yourself or in God or insome other person or deity. It is the courage, though that is needed to use the faith you have, to exercise your faith, your muscle, your mind. But if you have no faith in anything, can you have courage? Faith is needed for courage, but courage is not needed for faith. Courage builds upon the foundation of faith and is in direct relation to it probably. Quit your job with no prospects lined up. That seems stupid to the world, especially in a trying economy. Yet, if your faith is strong in whatever you believe in, what the world says makes no difference. Joshua was told by God to be strong and courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord God is with you wherever you go. Courage, strength, even the abscence of terror is based on the fact that Joshua believes in God and has faith that He will deliver Him. So, take courage, o my soul. Take courage, my friends. Remember that you can only take courage, though, if you have faith; and faith is a gift given from God Himself to you.

Friday, April 24, 2009

This is a test for moble blogging. Ignore it.



It's a beautiful day; don't let it get away.

Update

This is the last week of my online class. The past months have been the most overwhelming of my life. I have been attacked spiritually from two fronts. I have had to watch as my own state of overload affected friends and family. I cannot wait until this is over. I am looking forward to getting back to writing poetry. I have stumbled upon a poet named Gregory Orr. While I have yet to read much of his work, he has hooked me with his book titles and his philosophy of poetry as a coping mechanism. That said, check him out on poets.org when you get the chance. to close this brief entry, I ask you to pray that God would open doors for me as I search for a new job. I'm trusting Him, and He has not let me down in the past.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Untitled

A mind! A mind of her own!
Is self will rebellion?
Of course, of course
If they say it is.

Audacious one she
To express her anguish
To relinquish her confusion
To utterance
To air
As the mockingbird

'Tis only the call
She learned from us
We who teach
Liberty without
restraint. Will will
ever follow others'
will?

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Redeemed

That dangerous diadem which
Adorned the brow of my Savior
Punctured the flesh and then painted
Its own indecorous designs
In rivulets of scarlet and
Sweat through the cracks creases and crevices
Of a sacrificial countenance.
I inquire of my own nature
Do my crowns make me bleed?
Or did His dear blood make purchase of my waste?

A quick word on the poetry

These words are from verses I began writing about a year ago. Many of them are, as yet, unfinished, but they need to see the light of day. They chronicle struggles with calling, truth, God, and life in general. Please take the time to ask questions, write responses, criticize, or just let me know you're reading them. I have submitted to a magazine of poetry, but was rejected. I figured this was a quicker way to be read, at least for now. My hope is that these words would challenge you, if only a little. Thanks,
MrRoberts

Sought Answer

Last night I asked what should I do?
The peace that descended on me was so
Welcome and needed. But this restlessness returns
So quickly when I raise the question (!) The one
whose answers I need. Your response was, "Just go."
Nothing clearer than this? Go where?
So now my mind falls to a new way of asking
the question. Both options need me, so which one needs me
more? Where can I be most glorifying to you, God?

Once you learn to stand firm in your belief it won't
matter where you are. So, go ahead, see if the door opens.
Take the reins and see if I don't answer. See if i don't love
you? You need me.

I can only hold you up
if we are entwined.
I cannot be under you

Kingdom

The box is too big
Or I am too small
Expectations of me
Are to conform to all

Maybe my vision
wrong point of view
The box is too crowded
With lemmings just like you

One Word

If I were given one word to speak
Which would be delegated to me?
Faith, love, hope, angel soap, pass the plate,
Burn the goat?
Crucify!
Who's your saint?

It couldn't be done with one alone
A message so broad in power and in scope
One word.
One man.
One God.
All is done.
Jesus

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Faith

This lofty crag threatens

My security, but what

Is safety without risk

Of faith or suicide?

Empyrean comes

With sleep alone, alone.

Can trust be carried by

Comfort, callow and clean,

Bravery exist in

Want of bloodshed threat?

If not then life is

not.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Leave Everything...

I'm in my third year of teaching now. When I think about it, I am drawn to the kids. A desire exists to reach out to them and guide them in their walks. I want to help their souls grow closer to Jesus. When they have questions, I want to help find the answers. The kinds of questions though have nothing to do with literature and grammar, though. They are the questions that deal with life and death and following Jesus and living what they believe. It is a strong desire. I believe that it is my calling in life to do that. For now, it seems that I am stuck where I am though. I get to nurture their souls a little, but only in the context of school. If I am honest, I feel pulled away from that role to a more meaningful one. It is hard to explain. I am pondering these things in light of what I read about Jesus' first disciples this morning.
In Luke chapter 5, Jesus has a crowd following him to hear him teach. He sees Peter cleaning his nets, climbs into his boat and has them push a little way into the water. From there Jesus begins to teach the people. When the lesson is over, he tells Peter to cast his nets out in the deep water. Peter, still called Simon at the time, obeys and the catch is unbelievable. He has to call another boat for help, and both of them begin to sink deeper into the water. After Peter recognizes what's going on and falls to his knees, Jesus calls the fishermen to follow him. They brought their boats in, left everything, and followed Jesus.
What makes them leave their livelihood and follow Jesus? They look crazy to me. How will they pay the bills? How will they eat? How will they persuade anyone that Jesus is a good teacher when he has asked them to dump everything? The answers are simple, but they aren't easy. First of all, they had known each other a while. Earlier in the book, Jesus had healed Simon Peter's mother-in-law. According to the editors of the new ESV Study Bible, Simon and the crew had been following Jesus as a teacher for at least a year. They knew his teaching, his family, and him as a man. This wasn't a decision made all of a sudden without forethought. They knew who they were following. They trusted him as a rabbi and a leader.
Bear in mind, they also were awaiting a Messiah. The Jews were wanting to be free from their Roman oppressors. When Jesus tells them to cast their nets, they obey with little argument. The fish are so plentiful that the boats are overloaded. This was a miracle that caused Peter, a fisherman by trade, to react. Obviously he'd never seen this before. He asks Jesus to leave, afraid of being judged for his sin then and there. Peter recognizes God at work in Jesus. No other rabbi has done this, so there is something special about Jesus. These guys may not get it all, but the beginning of their education has come.
Jesus then tells them they will now catch men. No more stinky fish for you guys. In their minds, they probably thought they were recruiters for the army Jesus would use to toss down the Roman empire. They were expecting wealth, fame, comfort, and absolute victory. We find later that they found poverty, infamy, and death. These are worldly values, though. After the resurrection and the ascension, they more fully understood who Jesus was and what they were to do.
Here's the deal. Jesus knows who he's going to call from the beginning of time. On our side of the coin, though, we'd do well not to jump into thinking we're called. Remember, the disciples knew him for a while. They didn't just jump into the discipleship boat without any prior knowledge. Peter, Andrew, James, and John were conscientious. They were expecting something from God, as well. They saw Jesus as a rabbi, but also were expecting salvation, deliverance, and freedom from God. It did not come as they expected it, but their eyes were open to see the path to it, even if only a part of it. Lastly, they saw Jesus do something miraculous in their regular day-to-day work. In the normalcy of life, these men watched Jesus load their boats with fish.
All of us have been called to salvation and discipleship. We each also have specific callings. We find them by following Christ. Our direction is found by expecting God to do something in our lives. We must then keep our eyes open even in our mundane nine to five existence. Recognizing these signs, if you will, leads us to that place where we would leave what we're doing, leave our comfort and security, to follow Jesus.