What Exactly is a Christian, Anyway?

First a word of warning. What you read may disturb some of you because of the question I ask. There is no need to worry. I'm merely looking for clarity of truth, or truth without religion. Whatever you do, don't blame Donald Miller. His book is merely helping me to better visualize my questions.
So...What is a Christian? Wikipedia says that Christians are disciples of Christ. Here are a few quotes on Christianity I found.

"Any phenomenon as complex and as vital as Christianity is easier to describe historically than to define logically." From Encarta's definition of "Christianity." 1
"What is a Christian, anyway? Someone of European descent? A persecutor of Jews? Someone who votes for only the most conservative Republicans? At times all of these answers have seemed plausible. Some use these definitions to this day. In Christian circles the answers are no clearer. A Christian is sometimes said to be someone who has made a decision; sometimes, someone who belongs to a church; far too often, someone who confesses the right creeds." Mark M. Mattison 2
"Catholics are not Christians. They are pagans." Unsolicited E-mail to this web site.
"Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christians. Christians are people who have been forgiven of their sin by the holy God through His Son Jesus Christ. If someone who is a "Christian" has to earn their salvation, that is not Christian." Unsolicited E-mail to this web site.

So...Are you any clearer? With so many different definitions, how are we supposed to know? From what I've heard over and over, the term specifically means "little Christ." One hundred percent of professed Christians I know do not completely fit the bill. That includes me.
Politically, Christians are hated. Our history is so sordid with all the genocide and murder done in the name of Jesus. I wonder how my Savior really feels about these things at times. But then, I have my own things to worry about, like paying bills, praying and feeding my family. Do I really have time to worry about what my definition is?
I'll admit that most of the time, I find myself hesitant to call myself a Christian outside the walls of my church. I'm not ashamed of Christ in the least. I am a bit ashamed of how I represent him and how the church of today, for the most part, represents him. (Disclaimer: There are a lot of churches doing a lot of great things in the name of Jesus. I don't doubt that. I also don't expect perfection. But can't I expect something more out of individuals?)
Back to my point, now. I love being a child of God. I love being related to Jesus. I'm not always so keen on being grouped with the church though. I don't mean the people. I mean the establishment, the political game that is most prominent on the news. Go ahead and blame liberal media. If there were nothing to focus on, they'd have to focus on their own shortcomings or find another group to haggle. As it is, Republicans and Christians seem to go hand in hand, their names interchangeable.
Do I want to be a Christian? No.
I want to be God's child. I want to lead people to Christ. First and foremost is Jesus! If someone becomes my friend and they hear from me about Jesus because of what He has done for me, then they decide to attend First Presbyterian, then that's alright! As long as Jesus remains the center of the conversation, then the color of bricks that adorn the walls of the meeting place is completely irrelevant.
Honesty: I'm sick of people using the out of inviting people to church as "witnessing." We've all been called to spread the gospel, the real truth about Jesus. Jesus didn't give us the directive to give someone and orthodoxy and a creed to learn so they can understand God. Hell, I don't even understand Him! (excuse me there.) Jesus gave us a commandment and a commission. Love like there's no tomorrow and teach others to do the same in Jesus' name.
Loving people, filling their physical, emotional, spiritual needs is the gospel. Not a tract. Not a speech on grace and forgiveness. Think of the class you hated most in school. Do you remember any of the lectures? Do you remember any of the lectures from your favorite classes? But you do remember the field trips. You remember the things you did with what you learned. Science projects, art projects and performed presentations are what sticks. If we want the gospel to be spread, it must be spread in action. Otherwise, it's in one ear and out the other.
Sadly, most evangelism has been reduced to handing out tracts and inviting people to church so that the pastor can give the sermon and reel them in. Crude imagery, but it seems so true. Why can't we just get in gear ourselves and start loving the drug addicts, the homosexuals, the baby killers and other sinners? What would happen if we asked God for compassion to give away instead of solely for ourselves?
Whoa...I've gone farther than I wanted. I just want to cease being represented by those who know the least about who I truly am supposed to be in God. If, when someone hears that I am a Christian and the first thing that comes to their mind is ignorant, judgmental, hateful, legalistic, jerk, then I say something is wrong with what we're doing.
Am I right? Who knows. This is merely rambling and filtering thoughts that have reeled in my head for 4 years or so. I want to know, though. How would you want to be defined with Christ? Christian or something different?